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 My own ambition kills me. My idea for animations aren't rudimentary, they are complex. I want to create the terror that I feel on a daily basis. Theres a lot of multi media, motion, jumpcuts, colorsc. The key would be to start small. But Im gonna do it. I have had these ideas for years and its been a never-ending torment. I cant believe after all these years I managed to finally end my maladaptive daydreaming, the one thing preventing me from creating art. I say art is magical, and it is. Same with real-life creation. However, within magic there is profound horror. I have felt haunted by my own creativity my entire life. Through visions, paranoia, nightmares. My mind assaults me with imagery I did not ask for, ideas that come out of nowhere good or bad. I hate it so much, Ive spent a good portion of my life trying to fight it because it felt hopeless to deal with. Low self esteem and extreme paranoia. Paranoia has to be the worst thing one can be cursed with, the fear and dread feels real in the moment. Its been my biggest enemy all my life. I couldnt sleep at night with the lights off for years because I thought shadows were going to kill me. It fucked me up badly at the time, especially since I mostly slept in my own piss and filth in that room.